16 Jul Faith Matters

As I sit here in my home and reflect, I remember a year ago in May when I awoke to my house flooding. The master bedroom toilet overflowed and damaged a large portion of the house. I remember laughing out loud as I sat and watched my ceiling wall fall crashing to the ground. What could I do? Thankfully, I had insurance, and knew it would cover the damage and repairs.

In early September, I vacated my home and transitioned into a hotel for what I thought would be a few weeks…which turned into five months. In this time, I recall operating as normal as I could, not fully adjusting to living in a hotel but handling it. I settled into living in a hotel and continued my normal routine the best I could. I knew my situation was temporary, so I was fine. I had the mindset, “it could be worse”.

But one night after receiving news of the lack of progress on the repair of my house, I became overwhelmed. Just as my ceiling fell crashing to the ground months earlier, I had come to the end of the line– my world, myself, everything came crashing down. I could no longer shrug off my situation. I cried out to God in bewilderment and he responded, “Now you want to listen?”.

From that night, things started to change but I was not sure how to discern the change. I spent the remaining months of 2019 getting myself centered on God. On December 31st I received a phone call from a familiar Mosaic voice. It was actually someone from my church who was in the home repair business! He began to tell me a new company was reassigned to continue my repair and what I could expect next. The phone call ended, and simply put, I smiled, knowing everything was going to be OK and God was in control. Like many others, I was hopeful 2020 was going to be a new year. I was excited for all that God had in store.

I entered 2020 still living in the hotel, but hopeful of the new plan for my house repair. I was in a better head space and full of faith. Only problem was, I was determined on my own accord. I remember seeing a bulletin for the Strategic Life Alignment class at Mosaic and thinking, “What a great way to have professional conversations!” and was happy to sign-up. I even encouraged a few career-driven people I knew at church to join in. I thought maybe 10 people max would be in the class, and I would learn some new aspects of career development and all would be great.

On the first day of class, though, so many people had registered that there were barely enough seats! I was excited…until I got that first assignment, which was to consider the whole scope of my life… by writing my eulogy. I immediately shuddered and thought, “What have I gotten myself into?” But God was still at work, though I couldn’t see how just yet.

A few weeks later, on one specific Sunday, the crux of the message from guest pastor Dihan Lee pertained to how God’s peace is bigger than our storm. I was drawn into the message, and in the moment I remembered the scripture from Psalms 4:8, which states, “In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.”

Then, as if he were reading my mind, he went on to give an illustration of a tornado funnel with elements swirling around, and there being a boat in the bottom of the funnel with Jesus laying down in the boat and inviting me to join, just like he did with those disciples long ago, and just like the Psalm was pointing me to do!

And then, all of this, all of the previous few months came to a head, when soon after that, I attended the Mosaic Guest Experience ministry lead meeting, which I serve and lead as the Connection Team ministry lead. The first question raised once I settled into the room was “How are you?” Before I knew it, I began to share about all that was going on in my life and how I was simply trying to “hold on.”

With the other ministry leads not knowing the details of my situation, each of my fellow leaders had a response and started pouring into me, telling the visions or words they had for me from God. As I was thinking about trying to “hold on”, God was telling me to “let go”. I could tell he wanted me to get in the boat and lie down beside him, and to not worry about what was swirling around, but just to trust Him. “I got you” is what I sensed God expressing to me.

The truth is, I had been so focused on managing the storm by my own power and might instead of activating and increasing my faith in God. I let those words sink in and concluded the SLA (Strategic Life Alignment) class with a self-assessment of my skills, talents, and abilities. Up until then, I had run my life into a situation of unbalance not aligned to God’s gifting and purpose for my life, and it was breaking down. The best advice I received from that self-assessment was to spend more time in solitude.

Then…enter Covid-19.

Now, I have been sheltered at home “in solitude” for the last five months and counting. Despite all the challenges, it has allowed me to have concentrated time with God and reconnect to Him, drawing closer to Him. I can hear Him more clearly now without the distractions that once held me captive. He is doing work within me I could not see or have known for myself months ago!

One song that plays repetitiously in my mind when I think about faith in God is called “There’s a Storm Out Over the Ocean”. The specific lyrics that often speak life to me are:

There’s a storm out on the ocean and
it’s moving this old way
If your soul not anchored in Jesus
You will surely drift away

And you know what? I have found these words to be true.

So, here’s what I want to leave you with today: In a time of so much uncertainty, I want to tell you that faith in God matters. When we find ourselves looking away, thinking we can handle our situations on our own (like I was doing), we run into trouble. Instead, we need to adjust our focus and begin to reflect on the promises of God that give us peace and hope. I learned that God had better things for me when I didn’t hold on to my ways and understandings, but simply let go and embraced the presence of God when having faith mattered the most.

What is God calling you to let go of in faith in this season of life?

I’ll bet, whatever it is, it’s more than worth it to take the journey with Him.

Thanks for thinking with me today!

Kim Steele