There are a number of things that can keep a church from being the kind of community God designed it to be and that we want to be a part of. For starters, if Jesus is not at the center of a church and the Word of God is not rightly preached then it’s going to be difficult to see any kind of transformation in people’s lives. If the Holy Spirit is not worshipped as part of the Godhead and His power is not invited into the midst of that community it will be difficult to see transformation. But, even if you have all of those things in place, there is alway another obstacle threatening a church community in what God has called it to be. The subtle lie that either God doesn’t love you unconditionally, or that His unconditional love is not enough to satisfy and fulfill your heart. This little lie leads to one of two attitudes that can tear the fabric of a Gospel community apart. It either leads to provoking in pride, or envying in insecurity. The person who believes this lie will either sew disunity and division in an attempt to put himself/herself at the center by questioning and accusing leadership, using others to have his/her own needs met and trying to manipulate relationships, or will rob the community of his/her gifts, talents and ministry because he/she is always comparing himself/herself to others and feeling like he/she doesn’t measure up or isn’t as charismatic and therefore could never be used by God. Either of these will slowly poison a Gospel community and keep a church from being the kind of community we all want to be a part of.

What lies at the heart of the provoker is pride that is actually rooted in insecurity. This is the kind of person who feels he/she has to be the one with all the answers, the one other people envy, the one who needs no one but is needed by everyone. The reason for this is because deep down he/she feels completely inadequate, small, insignificant and therefore feels the need to elevate his/her status and reputation. This mindset and behavior damages relationships because it always leaves others feeling either like they are not important or feeling like they have to appease this person by constant reassuring him/her that he/she is indeed the Man/Woman. It is an exhausting experience because in the end what is happening is this person is asking others to put his/her glory in front of the glory of God in their lives.

What lies at the heart of the one who envies is the same root, insecurity, but it manifests itself differently. Rather than boasting and judging others, this person judges himself/herself more harshly. In comparison to others this person only sees his/her own weaknesses and as a result feels he/she could never be useful to God or anyone else, and so he/she just seeks to fade into the background and follow along. This also damages relationships because this person is constantly in need of others to “save” him/her. Whereas the provoker wants to be treated like God, the one who envies wants others to be God to him/her. And that is a weight that no one who is following Jesus wants to carry.

When you come to understand that you are loved unconditionally by someone then it frees you from needing to constantly elevate yourself as a means of being lovable, and it frees you from constantly beating yourself up because you think you are unloveable. Unconditional love means there’s nothing you can do to earn it, nor is there anything you can do to lose it because it is not based on conditions or behaviors. Unconditional love says, “I love you because I choose to, not because I have to or because I need to.”

As Dr. Tim Keller has said, “The heart of the Gospel is that I am so messed up that Jesus had to die for me, but that I am so loved that Jesus was glad to die for me.” That means that the Creator of the Universe, the most important Being in existence, loves me unconditionally. Therefore, I am no longer a slave to the opinions and perceptions of others. I am free to be who God made me to be. And, because I am free and have all the affirmation and acceptance and love I could ever ask for in Christ, then there is nothing I need from anyone else in regards to those areas. And, if I don’t need anything from other people then I can free give myself and all I have to other people. I can love others unconditionally because I have an endless supply of unconditional love in Christ. I need not hold any ungodly expectations over people’s heads or feel rejected and disappointed when others wrong me or fail to follow through on their promises. I can love them as Christ has loved me.