02 Jun Discussion Guide: Love Where You Live Week 3

Prayer

Take the first 10 minutes of your time together to listen to what God is doing in one another’s lives and pray for any specific needs people in your group may have.

Today we continue our Love Where You Live series. Over the next few weeks we will be discussing how we can create a sense of community in our neighborhoods and serve our neighbors as we seek to obey Jesus’ command to “Love your neighbor as yourself.” We will watch a short video and then talk through a few questions to help us make the theory of neighboring a reality we live out together.

Watch Lover Where You Live Week 3 Video: Conflict Resolution

Discussion Questions

In this week’s video, Jennifer referred to this idea as “going as deep, as we do wide,” intentionally getting to know our neighbors below just the surface level. What steps can we take to better know our neighbors? If you haven’t yet jumped in, what’s one way you can commit to learn more about a neighbor this week?

Living in close proximity to others means there inevitably and naturally will be conflict. This is simply part of being in relationships. To help us move through the rest of the questions, we’re going identify common sources of conflict between neighbors. Let’s remember to be respectful of each other, and our neighbors outside of the group, and to talk in theoretical terms. What are some situations in a neighborhood that can cause conflict? (Leader Tip: Pause and brainstorm with your group.) What tends to get under your skin, and why?

In the closing segment of the video, Ron shared Jennifer’s three-step approach to conflict resolution:

1. Commit to talk to your neighbor; have an open and respectful dialogue.

2. Make a plan, and practice empathy (consider the other person’s feelings).

3. Approach your neighbor in a timely, thoughtful way rather than a knee-jerk or rushed response.

Let’s discuss the first step: Commit to talk your neighbor. The decision to address conflict is a proactive and important step toward resolution. Think about your own life and a relationship in which there is unresolved conflict. What impact has the unresolved conflict had on that relationship?

Next, it’s important to make a plan and practice empathy. You’ve made the significant commitment to talk to your neighbor. But before you do…pause, put yourself in their shoes, and ask yourself questions such as: How might they be feeling? Do they even know I’m upset? In most cases the source of conflict isn’t intentional…is this how I’m approaching the situation? Let’s take one of the theoretical examples we discussed earlier, and consider how one could prepare for a productive, empathetic conversation. A few questions to consider include: What do I know about the person such as their cultural upbringing or current life circumstances?

What can I do to understand the situation from their perspective? (Leader Tip: Have someone choose an example from your earlier list of potential conflicts (e.g. barking dog) and allow the group to brainstorm)

Finally, approach your neighbor in a timely and thoughtful way. Why does the actual place and time of day impact the direction and outcome of a conversation?

Proactively addressing and resolving conflict, and living in peace with others can leave a positive, lasting legacy. Consider your relationships.

How would you describe your approach toward conflict resolution—address or avoid? Do you struggle to resolve conflict in a healthy way? If so, what can you do to improve the way you approach conflict resolution?

Think about a relationship (a neighbor or other person in your life) in which there’s conflict. Perhaps you’re ready to make the commitment to talk to the person or maybe it’s time to actually arrange the conversation.

What step can you take this week toward resolution? How can the group help you take this important step?

Project Discussion

Take the next 20-30 minutes to talk about potential service projects your group can execute for a neighbor of one of the people in your group. Think through what supplies would be needed, how many people would be involved, and what tools would be required? There is an evaluation worksheet on the website. After a couple of weeks you’ll want to narrow down the possibilities to one or two and then decide how your group is going to make that happen.

Prayer

Take the remaining time to pray for your group and for your neighbors as we look to reflect God’s Kingdom into the lives of the people we live near.